Seeing Fear as an Opportunity

I wanted to dedicate a second piece to all my friends who don’t have diabetes and all the newly, young or old Type 1 diabetics who all may need a little “kick in the butt” and it’s about facing your fears and getting uncomfortable. Please don’t let this piece offend you it was simply written to motivate the individual who may be feeling down on themselves Type 1 diabetic or not.

When I was originally diagnosed with T1D I automatically thought that I wasn’t going to be able to do a lot of things. I thought my diabetes was going to block and restrict me from doing things that I loved.I had been involved in athletics my whole life so when I was diagnosed I immediately thought my career was over, I was scared. I had diabetes and I was scared because I thought I would never be able to play the same way again. I feared that diabetes was going to take me out of competition, I felt that I would never be able to “win” with diabetes.

I think that anyone who is newly diagnosed or is a young person with T1D has these fears. They often think that diabetes will inhibit them from doing the things they love or know they will love doing.

I hear and read stories all the time of T1D people just drowning in their own sorrow, their lives seem to be permanently tinted with sadness. (Of course, diabetes can be a terrible disorder if un-managed and I have empathy for the people who may have  worse and more uncontrollable cases than I do, so this next paragraph/rant is for people who are willingly feeling sorry for themselves).

I get frustrated reading this type of stuff because people don’t realize that they have the power to “break through” the chains of diabetes. We as humans have the power to control our future and environment with which we live in- all by the way we think. It all really translates back into fear issues for me: are you going to let your life be dominated by this thought that you can’t be the best because you’re diabetic? Are you going to let other people’s thoughts and images impose themselves on you? Or are you going to get up and push through your fears and believe firmly that you can achieve anything you want? Accept that you have diabetes and manage it, and manage it to the best of your ability but also move on and take control of your life.

Letting fears dominate you signals that you are headed in the wrong direction. Fears produce dis-comfort, we are hesitant and unsure,  and we get used to fear. When you are in your comfort zone your whole life and shy away from what you continually fear, you probably can’t create anything new because fear is such a limiting factor.  How can you move forward if you are consistently content with doing only what you’re comfortable with – what your fear allows you to do? How can you break new barriers? It’s about getting uncomfortable sometimes, it’s about doing what you fear and using fear as a way to push yourself to new personal possibilities.

Being T1D,  we can get used to this comfort zone. I love being at home sometimes more than I should because I always get help with my diabetes management like carb counting but I know that if I want to get anywhere in life I need to get used to being diabetic in public and get used to relying on myself for carb counting- it may be very uncomfortable but it’s what’s preparing me for life.

So back to my story…

When I started to compete in soccer after I was diagnosed I really sucked at soccer and management, I couldn’t combine the two. Management and soccer combined made me feel uncomfortable, especially on a new team I was trying out for. I would get strange looks all the time. I was out and out scared to play soccer fearlessly like I used to be able to. I was afraid to give it my all – my fears of diabetes were holding me back.

If I hadn’t actually faced my fears of competing and get on the pitch again  (getting uncomfortable) then I wouldn’t be where I am today and probably not writing this.

Imagine the first guy/girl who ever ran an Ironman race with a T1D. Do you think he/she was scared? Probably terrified, but he/she did it because they had a burning desire to do so, they faced their fears, got uncomfortable and in turn pushed the limits for what T1Ds can do- for other T1D’s and other people who thought T1D’s “couldn’t do that”.

I made it a goal for 2014 to get as uncomfortable as possible because I know that if I just stay content and comfortable with what I am doing I will never progress. Starting this blog and really putting myself out there was uncomfortable – but I did it.

I know that if I don’t face my fears with extreme will power and with the positive intention of overcoming them, then how will I move forward? How will I find new opportunities?

When you live with something you are told will limit you, and conventional wisdom says will limit you, fight it with a push back from within, we can get limited only as much as we allow ourselves to be, and at the end of the day, the choice is always ours, and the responsibility for those choices is only ours too.

Face The Facts And Conquer Fitness

Fitness. The one word people tend to dread.

I am not talking your average jog around the park – I’m talking extremely intensive, make-you-want-to-throw up exercise. 10km runs, hills, marathons and other exercises that put you on your hands and knees. I have been and still am a part of some grueling fitness workouts that our coach and trainer have us doing.

The word itself has the power to shift the entire mood of a team and individual. When I know we are doing fitness I personally have to mentally prepare myself almost as if it were a game.

Fitness isn’t only practiced in soccer or other sports. Fitness can mean a range of things for different people. Fitness can describe the workouts that you absolutely dread but know are necessary and they almost always involve some form of running. Maybe it’s that 5AM jog you need to force yourself to get up for or it’s the extra bit of training you’re doing by yourself to get an edge on the competition. Regardless of what fitness means for you, it’s a grind but it’s one that pays off.

I got my first very serious taste of the fitness levels required for top competition when I lived at Bollettieri Academy in Brandenton – the amount and intensity of fitness we had to do every day was grueling to say the least – it made me realize the importance of committing to fitness and giving your all.

Fitness is a true test of an athlete’s character and really fitness makes us consider how bad we REALLY want something.

Fitness can be  scary because it is the one aspect of our lives as athletes/active people that we can completely control (unless diabetic complications arise). The decision on how far to go, whether to give “our all” is solely up to us as individuals. Fitness makes us face the facts and determines how committed we are to our goals. Sometimes that power is scary, it’s often a wake up call for ourselves. For example, I know that if I want to be the best soccer player I can be, I need to get through these fitness routines that our coach has us doing. If I don’t do them then that makes me think: “Do I actually want to do this soccer thing?”

Facing fitness is a way we can physically gauge our ability to overcome challenges and with also having T1D there will be a lot of them. 

Giving my all during these types of exercises makes me feel positive that I will be able to handle what ever diabetes throws at me, however tough it may be. I know I am developing  grit and determination through conquering fitness. For me, this is another area where an athletic pursuit can help you develop a skill which you can use in life.

I have to admit that my optimistic attitude regarding T1D partially comes from my ability to put myself through these grueling workouts and seeing others doing even more than me. As an example, when I hear that there are T1D’s out there running IronMan’s and Triathlons/Marathons I am honestly inspired because it’s literally like slapping diabetes in the face. It redefines and re-frames common perceptions about diabetes and people’s ability to do the “impossible”.

Please look to my next post where I describe some of these tough fitness exercises I do and to see how I manage my T1D for them.

My Story

I have decided to create a blog to share some of my experiences and insights about being an athlete with Type 1 Diabetes as well as to learn from yours. This post outlines what I want my blog to be about and how it provides value to the reader.

For those who don’t know me I’m 20 years old, studying Arts and Contemporary studies at Ryerson University and I have been a  Type 1 Diabetic for 4 years.

Here is a bit of my story:

I had played soccer at the elite level since I was 6 but at 13 I decided to quit soccer and take up tennis seriously.

I lived off and on Bollettieri Tennis Academy in Florida for 3 years, training intensely and getting into competition.

When I got back home at 16, I realized that I had missed soccer and wanted to get back into it – this of course was crazy given that I missed 3 years of training, some coaches did not even want to talk to me but I managed join a club called Sporting, On top, I joined a local boxing club and pursued boxing in parallel for two years.

Shortly after I joined them, I got diagnosed with D1. It seemed to me that my dream to pursue soccer on a high level might be over. But I did not let it. Within a year I got into the Toronto Lynx team which competes in the USL league, where I am currently on the U20/PDL roaster. In the time that I was there Toronto Lynx had either been a runner up or a winner in the North American USL finals.

Currently I play varsity soccer for Ryerson University and am in my second year with the team. This year the team broke records for the soccer program- going 27 games unbeaten and playing in a national tournament.

Here’s how I wish to provide value:

I  will share my experiences and the lessons I’ve learned  on the management side of Type 1 Diabetes and how I  still achieve optimal performance with my athletics. These experiences will be there not to exactly “tell” you how to manage your Type 1 Diabetes- there are doctors for that,  but instead will try and provide value to you by showing you that anything is possible athletically and in life with Type 1 Diabetes. I am young and still experiencing it all, I have a long history in competing at the top level and wish to share with you what I’ve learnt and what I learn along the way. I also want you to share with me some of your experiences with athletics and how you manage your diabetes- as this creates the best of both worlds. I want this blog to provide conversation surrounding any given topic so it can help others.

I understand that there are numerous blogs where bloggers are more involved in athletics then I am and can really show and tell you how to manage your Diabetes. But if you wish to read my personal accounts – in language you can understand – from a young motivated, ambitious person who is still going through it all and who is open to your advice, feedback, conversation- then stick around.

Some concepts I will be blogging about from the athletic side:

Game Day, Off-Season/Pre-Season/Season,  Weightlifting, Supplements, Diabetic Meters, My Position (soccer), Nutrition, Fitness :(, Road Trips, Practices, Aerobic/Anaerobic Exercise, Drinking/Partying (must be spoken about), Try-Outs, Pre-Game routines,  2- a- days, Away Games/Home Games etc…

More concepts are sure to arise as I start blogging.

So…

To any athlete out there who feels like they’re alone in facing some of the challenges that arise from having Type 1 and playing sports.

To any athlete who feels like quitting  because they’ve been diagnosed with Type 1.

This blog is for you and I strongly urge you to connect with me so we can share our stories and learn from each other.

But that is not all i want this blog to be about…

Along with athletic advice I want this blog to be a space for people to come, read and be motivated and inspired.

I am here to tell you not to ever let Diabetes get in the way of doing what you love. Ever. This will be the main concept surrounding all my posts.

To wrap it up.

Let my experiences with athletics and Type 1 Diabetes be a motivator for you to manage and control your own, while still maintaining a competitive edge.

Let me show you how I’m turning my Type 1 into  Being Number 1.